White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
