i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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