i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
