every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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