Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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