We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
