Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
