oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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