Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
