It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just cut my nipple shaving
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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