..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
