Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
