It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
