You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
