Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
