There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
