the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
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