He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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