omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
