I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
