Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
