i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
