He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
