Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
