is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
