Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
the day after is always just damage control
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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