worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
