Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It was confusing and full of hummus
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
