hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Still dying that you shit outside
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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