Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
