Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
