is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
