i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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