its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
you had me at cake vodka
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
