I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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