she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
