i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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