im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
