did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
