I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
as a side note pls kill me
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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