i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
