I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
