fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
