My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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