you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
