He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
A+ Viking dick
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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