There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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