i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
