2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
