I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
