i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
