Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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